Trust me, the cashier, the mailman, the gal working the drive thru, and your coworkers all have something to do with your dating life. 🙂 They can even help you find your best love!
The other day I went to the store with a friend, and as I was checking out first, he went back and grabbed a few more things. I asked the cashier how her day had been and we just had small talk until my things had been paid for and my friend was checking out. I waited there as he then asked the lady how her day had been. He got a far different answer than me! She opened up about being excited about closing on her house, and admitted it had truly been a really good day. How fun to see her light up and talk to him! I know him well enough to know that he meant it when he asked how her day was going, even though he had never met her before. I had meant it too, but he seemed to just brighten her day. I loved that that was just who he is. 🙂
Most people can be kind to those they want to pursue romantically, or to those they have interest in. But if you really want to start to uncover the character of a man or woman as you are finding your best love, you have to also look outside of the phone calls, the walks, and the one on one time. How do they treat the rest of the world? How are they with other people when there is no incentive to be extra kind? Who would want to end up with a someone who is wonder woman when it comes to spending time together, but is unkind to those around her on a day to day basis?
Gentlemen, can I tell you a secret? Yes, pay attention to how your best love treats you and other men, but if you want to know who she really is when no one else is watching, pay attention to how she treats her girl friends or girls who aren’t her friends. If she can be mean and nasty with them, the day will probably come when that side will be directed at you.
Laddies, it goes both ways. How does he treat his brothers? How do he and his Dad treat each other? What’s he like when he’s hanging with the guys?
*Note: We definitely all need our guy or girl time, and it is a bit different than when we’re spending time with our Best Love, but if we’re completely different people in the two situations, then maybe it’s time to think about who we really want to be. Just food for thought.
So how do you find out what they are like with other people?
Date. How are they if someone bumps into them at the grocery store? Invite them to go grocery shopping with you and just spend time. How are they with kids? Invite them to a family event!
Something very important to me is how my best love will treat my family. So, you double date with your brother, meet up with your sister when you’re together, and invite your best love to family dinner or a low-key family event. Be wise in not smothering them, but it never hurts to invite. Not only will you get to see how they are, but your best love will do the same with you. What a key piece of getting to know one another! It takes time to learn how you and your best love both interact with people, and as you do, you will either come to love and care about them even more, or you may feel like you don’t want to become best loves.
A Note to Those With Anxiety About Dating:
THIS IS YOUR GOLDMINE! 🙂 Your task in dating is to spend time, and observe. Just take it all in, and though you won’t know everything about that person, I believe if you truly strive to find yourselves in many different situations, you can come to understand their character. You can have confidence in the choices you make on whether or not to date that person. The more you know them, the more you will know what to expect, and some of that ominous unknown will soften. Dating takes faith, but faith brings great miracles. 🙂
How do you want to be, when you are in the checkout line next time? 🙂
Thank you for all the good you do.