I once had a good friend of mine say there was a piece of him that wished we were all simply given the social security number of our future spouse, and then one day we got to go and meet the person. When you are sitting there “single as a pringle” (I just heard that one this week, and I kinda love the expression! 🙂 )I can definitely agree with the gentleman that it would be awfully helpful to just KNOW. But here’s the hitch; love without the stories wouldn’t be quite as rich.
I can’t mail you a personal profile of your future best love–nor would I deny you the opportunity of searching for yourself–even if I could send you that magical file!
But what if you could create that profile yourself? I’m here to tell you, you can! Not only will it give you a glimpse of the kind of person you are looking for, but as you create it, you will see the kind of person you need to be for your best relationship to be a reality. It will provide direction in regards to who you want to be with and who you want to become. Are you ready? Now, this can be stretched over the course of a day, week, month, and can be pondered as you go about your day. I started mine last night, and even while I was at work a few things I hadn’t put together before came to mind. On the other hand, you could sit down for 30 minutes and the file will fabricate right before your eyes.
Really think it through, and you might just find incredible insights that could change who you’re dating. As with everything, keep an open mind and heart, and remember we are all always changing. Every person we meet has something to offer, and it takes getting to know people to discover their incredible attributes.
The Profile: Your Best Love
1. Start with the end in mind. Picture what you would want the day to day to be like together.
Describe that kind of relationship. (Not the person) (I function best with lists, so I just described it with bullets.)
Examples: Team, Quick to forgive, Thoughtful, Joyful, Laughter, Lifting each other, Working through hard times together, hard working…..etc. IMAGINE YOUR DREAM 🙂
2. What are your current life goals? (List all that come to mind)
Examples: To be a parent, get an education, play a sport professionally, be involved with service, live in another country, be financially stable, take your family to foreign countries, write a book, run a marathon, break the world record in the hot dog eating contest…. your goals 🙂
3. What are your hobbies and interests?
I don’t think you need examples on this one 🙂 the question is how do you like spending your free time?
We’ve covered a lot about you, and where you want to go, and what you want to do. Now it’s time to look at where you’ve been. Personally, I really enjoyed this portion when I created my “Best Love Profile.”
4. Go through every person you have steadily dated, or those you’re closest to. What drew you to them? What did you absolutely love about them? What attributes of theirs worked well with your personality? What were your favorite parts of the relationship?
Here you get to look back, find the positive, and remember the things you want to have in a best love. This alone is proof that no dating effort is ever wasted, and it is possible to find similar incredible attributes in others along the way.
Now, the final, and maybe most important part in creating a profile of your Best Love: your vision.
A vision sets your sights, and your course in whatever you are pursuing. It encapsulates where and how you want to be and become. For our purposes, it will be about the kind of person you are looking for as a Best Love. A vision is so powerful that if taken to heart, over time it will come to life. Why not harness the power of vision in one of the most important decisions each of us will ever make?
My vision is definitely personal, but here are a few examples of things I could have done. Note: I looked back over the lists I had created and circled things that really stood out to me, and then used those ideas to craft my vision.
A: My Best Love will be able to find joy in life, through the good and hard–facing life’s challenges as a team.
B: My Best Love will know how to live the little moments to the fullest, and will be an incredible example of love for our children.
C: My Best Love will not be perfect, but be quick to forgive, and someone my children and I can look up to.
D: My Best love will be one who is gentle and kind, and who loves me even on my hard days.
E: My Best love will be the king of smiles, and patience, and we will take the opportunity to sneak in a hug or kiss.
……these are simply ideas to spark your thoughts.
Just a few things to remember about setting a vision:
- It’s ok to dream big!! What is it that you truly want, and you could even say, need?
- Make it memorable, so it will set the course of your dating life.
- Remember you vision contains attributes and qualities, and will not encapsulate your entire Best Love 🙂
- Visions can change–don’t be afraid to re-chart your course.
YOU DID IT!!! You now have a profile of your future best love! Aren’t you excited to meet them?! A few final notes on why this profile contains what it does. First, #1 (picture your relationship) was to give us some reality and a destination. #2 (Goals) was included because goals, in and out of relationships determine how we will spend our lives, and the directions we will go. Best Loves generally want to go in the same direction. #3 (Interests/hobbies) is also significant, because our hobbies and interests determine how we will spend our free time together or apart. #4 helps us pull from the wealth of past experiences. It is possible to think that we may never find someone like “____________” when in reality maybe it was a few characteristics we loved that they had. Those kinds of characteristics I would call “green flags!” They are like gold in the dating world. Finally, your vision encapsulated everything you have recalled, discovered, and valued. Come back to see what you can then do with that new vision.