A personal note: I truly believe in letting your man lead, especially in the realm of love. Leading isn’t a dictator-ship, but ladies, why would you ever want to make a man sweep you off your feet? I definitely believe the man should lead in regards to the first kiss, so this post is going to be more towards the men, but ladies there is always something for us to learn too.
So gentlemen, you really like her, she seems to like you, you’ve had amazing conversations and you care a lot about her…. and you want to kiss her! You should! If you do it right, it will be one of your sweetest memories. I love how we are wired to want to be close to a best love. It’s a soul thing. That means our hearts and minds, and also our bodies need to be involved. So is physical affection important? Absolutely. It is actually a piece, not an extra, and if we choose to do it right, our relationships will be that much stronger.
First a few fun facts about kissing: (This was an interesting post to research for, and I found myself laughing, fascinated, amazed, and maybe even horrified about the world’s view on this, but here’s a few things.)
- Did you know kissing is actually healthy? In the whole scheme of things, that bacteria that you are inevitably swapping can boost your immune system, but can also be another great reason to not kiss every single date you take out!!
- Talk about a dopamine rush! The butterflies are a real thing–things don’t have to get out of control to experience the rush of a kiss.
- There might actually be some truth to “kissing it better,” and some research suggests a few kisses can ever relieve a headache! I don’t see any bad in that whole concept!
Kissing can be a bit different when the one happens to be your Best Love you are married to, so remember, we’re talking about a first kiss here.
What to do before-hand: The Everyday
It really boils down to four things:
- Take care of your teeth and mouth. You’ll be healthier, feel better, be more confident, and have less bad breath in the long run.
- Keep a few pieces of gum on you. Kisses tend to come at the end of a date, after food and time, so ask if your date wants to split a piece of gum, or offer her one (as you yourself are getting one, so there are not misunderstandings of an insult. Even if she does have bad breath too. )
- No one likes having chapped lips, so invest in chap-stick you like, and that the smell/texture doesn’t bother you. There are so many to choose from. If your lips get crazy chapped/peeling, can I let you in on a secret? Before you go to bed, put a little bit of sugar on a wash cloth, and buff your lips with it. When you are done, rinse off the dissolved sugar, dry your lips, and throw your chap-stick on, or if you want a quick fix, use Vaseline. Works like a charm! 🙂
- This goes for men AND women. IF YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO GO IN FOR THE KISS FOR THE SAKE OF KISSING. DON’T. You are waaaayyyyyyyy better off waiting to find the girl or guy you want to kiss to show them you care about them. Kisses don’t mean marriage, but they do mean you care, so show that care wisely.
Ok, so you are ready, you’ve got great breath, soft lips, real interest in this girl, and you’re going to go for it!
- Slow down. Not only does it give you a chance to quiet your nerves, but if she isn’t felling it, it gives her a chance to respectfully decline. That will be far better for both of you! Then you aren’t feeling like you wasted a kiss, and she isn’t left feeling like she was blindsided….
- I am sure you’ve held her hand by this point, and you’ve definitely hugged before, so take her hand and bring her in closer to you. Now, there isn’t necessary a right or wrong, but these are three safe options: A: Put your arms around her waist, or on her hips before you lean in. B: Forget everything else, and very gently (please just be soft!) take her face in your hands. C: Just take both of your hands in hers, and pull her a little closer.
- Kiss her 😉 Remember: soft, slow, and sweet. And this is a first kiss, and not your spouse, so short and sweet may be a good call.
- Always leave her wanting to kiss you again–so softly say goodbye, if you’re holding her hands, maybe pull her hand up and kiss her hand, or kiss her on the forehead, and call it a night.
🙂 That wasn’t so bad, was it?
Before we leave, here are a few notes on different kinds of kisses: remember kisses have symbolic meaning. Though everyone may have a different opinion, this is at least a general overview–ask your Best Love about their personal feelings about kisses to see what they mean to them.
Lips: You really care, more serious.
Kiss on the cheek: sweet, you care but it’s more like a peck–you’d feel comfortable kissing your mom like that.
Kiss on the forehead: Now this is more of my personal thoughts, but in my opinion it means you really care, and aren’t asking for anything in return. It is almost a very selfless kiss.
Kiss their hand: I think this falls under the same category as forehead kisses. Selfless, caring, and a great way to express genuine love.
Well, gentlemen, I think you are ready to go! Now when you find that girl, you can rock that first kiss. 🙂 Ladies, I hope you picked up on some things as well, I know I learned a few things writing it!