This post is dedicated to those who struggle to see that they are beautiful, needed, attractive, incredible, and of worth. Because each of us is all of the above.
I think at some point we have heard the saying–or maybe even used it, “it’s not you, it’s me.” Well…..you just might be right! 🙂 Let me tell you why.
Each of us probably looked in the mirror at some point this morning. How did you treat yourself? Was it a “hey handsome” or “goodmorning gorgeous?” Or did you come up with a whole storm of negative thoughts of things you wish you could change? Why do we do that? Let’s be 100% honest, the idea for this post came at about 12:30am when I was laying in bed unable to sleep. And these are the thoughts that came 😉
I wanted to see if I could actually show all the thoughts that one person can combat–my medium? Sticky-notes and sharpies, and that mean old mirror.
It’s a pretty sad photo, isn’t it? I wrote down note after note of terrible things that have been told to me, or that I have thought about myself. I am serious, those are all as real as you and me. Let me tell ya, I literally started feeling sick! Physically sick!! And I covered the mirror with them. It was hard to pull them all back out of my memory, but it was something else to see them actually fabricated.
Not only did it make me feel sick, I couldn’t even see what I actually looked like with all those sticky notes in the way. Is that what our negative thoughts do? Cloud our true self image? To think that at one time or another, all of that filled my mind, makes my heart hurt. I wish I was the only one who has had negative thoughts about themselves, but I don’t think that is the case.
So what do we do to change it?
I once asked a very confident individual that very question. Her response: “I never let myself think one negative thing about myself.”
For her, maybe that worked, but for me I had to add a little bit to it: “If a negative thought about myself comes, I need to dismiss it, and focus on something I love about myself.” Boy, were those first days and then even weeks, hard. Our thoughts can be so difficult to control when it comes to self image. But after a while, I started looking different every time I looked in the mirror. I could not believe it, but I started looking beautiful.
I am very grateful to say that it reached a point where I truly felt beautiful. Did my looks change? No. Just my thoughts. And it was enough to clear away all those things that were holding me back.
I used to think that women were the only ones who were ever self-conscious, but as I have had the chance to interview men while creating “My Best Love,” I have come to realize and learn that we are all hit with thoughts of not being enough. In reality, we are usually doing far better than we think. It is much easier said than done, but I believe we can change what we do with those thoughts that might deprive us of our self worth.
So what on earth does this have to do with dating??
Let me show you the second half of my early-morning photoshoot 🙂
After taking all of the first notes down, I replaced them with the thoughts I had come to fill my heart with. The good things that were true, and things that I really did believe. The whole feeling at the mirror changed, and I couldn’t believe the difference between the two mirrors. Not only did I feel better, to me, I physically looked better.
Dating is all about getting to know others, and becoming our best selves–ultimately finding someone we can be best friends and in love with. But how can we do that, if we are tearing ourselves down on the inside? How can we forget ourselves and love fearlessly, if we are being bombarded with our every insecurity? That is not how the Lord ever intended for us to feel. And when we are kind and patient with ourselves, it is easier to be kind and patient with those around us–especially those we find ourselves in relationships with. I have found that the most beautiful people in this world are those who are confident in their own skin, and who come to see the strengths of themselves, and those around them.
Change begins with a single thought. What if today was the day, we changed the way we treated ourselves?
If you don’t believe it is possible, I promise it is. I know, because Heavenly Father is just waiting to help us see what He sees in each of us, and is only a prayer away. Blogs can bring great thoughts and inspirations, but Heavenly Father’s love and our choices bring about change.